Toe Jokes

What did the person say when someone tried to cut off their toes?

I'm lactose intolerant.

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What's the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)

What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!"

What do you call a woman who does not have all her toes on one foot?

Normal

Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk?

He was lack toes and toddler ant

What is a vegetable's favorite martial art?

He can't do martial art because he is paralyzed tip to toe.

What did the little cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

My toe sis!

What did the kid say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while trying to catch him?

Nana boo boo

What do you call someone who hates people without toes and can't have ice cream?

Lack-toes intolerant

What do you call a bee with a toe?

Toby"

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What's worse than stubbing your toe?

The Holocaust

What is the difference between a sock and a camera?

A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.

What did the college junior say just before her toe was cut off?

NO PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY TOE!

What do you do when you stub your toe?

Call a toe truck.

What is a guy who rubs bear toes called?

Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!

What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Who has to always be on there toes?

A midget at a urinal.

What do I think about my toes?

They couldn't be further from my mind.

What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee?

Tony.

Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes?

Because he's extinct

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe?

My toe sis!"

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

Toes go in first!

Why did the elephant paints it's toes red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree.

Why do cows have hoofs?

Because they lack toes

How do you keep men on their toes?

Raise the urinals

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe! My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

What do you call a man with a toe on his knee?

Tony

Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?

To carry his library card.

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?

Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

What do you call man without toes?

What do you call a man without toes and is allergic to milk Lack-toes intolerant!!

What do missiles, camels, and common fetishes have in common?

What " " -Toes." "Out. Just get out."

Which toes?

She answers "My big toes".

What did a cell say to his sister cell, when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

What do you call a Spanish man with erasers for toes?

Roberto* What do you call a Spanish man with no car *Joaquin*

Why do ballet dancers always stand on their toes?

Could they not hire taller dancers

What did the goldsmith say when he stubbed his toe?

Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?

A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

Why are ballerinas so vigilant?

They are always kept on their toes.

Why do ballerinas stand on their toes?

Can't they just get taller women

What's pink has five toes and is carried by the Easter Bunny?

His lucky people's foot!

Why did the foot smile?

He was toe very happy. Jesus that is awful.

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Big Toe Jokes More Big Toe Jokes

What's your middle name?

Why are you single What's wrong with your big toe

What do you do if an Elephant breaks his big toe?

Call a big toe truck.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

How do you get whole race to hate you?

Blow up the finish line. (I figured 2 years was long enough)

Why do SJWs hate cannibals?

They're always man-spreading on their sandwiches.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why are you always tired, Dad?

my 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

How do you know a girl is into you?

Just pinch yourself, if you don't wake up, she doesn't.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why did the elephants go on a diet?

A: Because they had too much junk in the trunk.

Why do elephants drink?

Well, mostly to forget.....

Sleep Pill Jokes More Sleep Pill Jokes

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard?

He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What do you call it when a Mexican digs their feet under the sand?

Bury-toes. Hah hah

Why do you fight using only your feet?

Oh, y'know. For kicks.

Lack Toe Jokes More Lack Toe Jokes

Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk?

He was lack toes and toddler ant

Why cant people with no feet drink milk?

Because they are lack toes intolorent.

Coma Toe Jokes More Coma Toe Jokes

What do you call an unconscious foot?

Coma-toes! (I made up this joke when I was 10.)

What do you get when you foot falls asleep?

Coma-toes.