What did the person say when someone tried to cut off their toes?

I'm lactose intolerant.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person who speaks three languages?

Trilingual! Two Languages Bilingual! Only one language Americans

What do you call a person who enjoy mondays?

Unemployed

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What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?

Windows 10.

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Where's Jim?

He went M.I.A. *Cut to Jim* All I wanna do *bang bang bang bang* *reloading noise* And shoot enemies

What does Johnny Depp say when cutting down trees?

TIMBUUUUUUUURTON

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Which toes?

She answers "My big toes".

What's worse than stubbing your toe?

The Holocaust