What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What kind of dog can tell time?

A clockshund!

How do you teach your dog to roll over ?

Put him on fire.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud?

Conversation

What do you call a room with no walls?

A mushroom. Some people don't think that this is a joke. But it makes me rofl all over the place.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit?

r/explainlikeimfive

What costs you more the less you spend on it?

A divorce lawyer.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How do you stay hidden in the Desert?

Camal-Flage

Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother?

Because he stays low key

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Whats the German version of silent night?

Kristall nacht

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)