Pea Soup Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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Whats the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup?

Anyone can mash potatoes!

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.

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Fission chips.

What do polar bears have for lunch ?

Ice burger !

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Why did the chicken cross the road twice?

Because it was a double-crosser

Why did the chickens cross the border?

Because they were Turkish.

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How did the sad clown smile and laugh again?

They told him his wife died recently.

When do accountants laugh out loud?

When somebody asks for a raise

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Who's there ! Bert ! Bert who ?

Bert the dinner !

What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?

NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.

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What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What do u call a mexican in the back of a cop car?

Pork and beans

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does the Cincinnati gorilla story tell us?

It's the first time that black-on-black crime made national (even international) news.

Why do bad break-dancers get reduced prison sentences?

Time served

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Why can't you tell a joke in a cornfield?

Because the stalks are all ears.

Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings.