What does the head of the Catholic Church used to buy goods online?

Papal

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What did the 80 grit sandpaper say to the 36 grit sandpaper?

You're a little rougher than I'm used to, but I'll grit and bear it. I'm sorry, that joke was a little rough ;D

What version of windows does Jesus use?

XP Edit: Explanation(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChiRho)

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Why don't you buy your wife a watch?

There's already a clock on the stove

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

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What's black and white and can't go through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.

I got hit in the head by a soda can, but it didn't hurt that much...

It was a soft drink.

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What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

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You'll never have to worry about being in a long-term relationship.

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What online payment service does the Pope use?

Papal.

What does the head of the Catholic Church used to buy goods online?

Papal

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Why does the Catholic Church have so much money?

Because Jesus saves.

Whats the difference between a coal mining company and the Catholic Church?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts not the other way around.......