What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.

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Big Difference Jokes More Big Difference Jokes

What's the biggest difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

What is the biggest difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa stops at three Ho's

Pea Soup Jokes More Pea Soup Jokes

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why did the green bean go to jail?

He was disturbing the peas.

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?

Because she thought everybody loved her.

Why does everybody else get the brunt of the jokes?

Let me hear something different.

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

Why do the Irish have 239 beans in their soup?

If they had one more it would be to farty

Pork Jokes More Pork Jokes

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger...

What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog's finger

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?

A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law?

You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law.