When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why does vampire Superman want to go out?

Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)

Why do Newfies want Qubec to separate?

So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion?

Two fingers.

Who would you ask for advice about a lion?

a lion or a gerbil The lion, because by virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What did the farmer say when all his cows charged him at once ?

I'm on the horns of a dilemma here !

Why were episodes 4, 5, 6 made before 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge Yoda was.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why were the twin towers disappointed?

They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane.

How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order?

I on it.

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Douse it with petrol and toss a lit match. WOOF!

What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What did the author say when he added a chapter about flour to a story about soup?

The plot thickens!

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

Why shouldn't ISIS be destroying ancient Mesopotamian buildings?

Because it's frowned upon in Islam to smoke ziggurats.

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

How much is a soft drink ?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*