Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

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What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!"

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS

What do you get when you put two different vinaigrettes in your salad?

Cross-dressing

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eye?

Chicken Caesar salad.

What do you call it when a chicken sees a salad?

A Chicken Caesar salad

Salad Dress Jokes More Salad Dress Jokes

What was the beef doing as he watched the salad dressing?

Stroganoff

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge?

She saw the salad dressing.

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

Interracial

Why did the Ethiopian child have a frown?

He was having his mid life crisis!

Honeymoon Salad Jokes More Honeymoon Salad Jokes

What's in a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing ...

How do you make a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone without dressing.

Lunch Jokes More Lunch Jokes

What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me."

What is that you're having for lunch?

Me: fruit salad H: That's funny, it looks like a sangria. Me: huh, weird *sips fruit salad*

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How do you stop a 6'4" 300lb black kid from charging?

You take away his EBT card.

Why is it expensive to be a criminal?

Because the police charge you.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim Denim. Denim

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Who looks after the EuroDisney website?

Mick e-mouse.

Why do Irishmen grow mustaches?

So they look like their mothers