Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!"

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS

What do you get when you put two different vinaigrettes in your salad?

Cross-dressing

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?

No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.

Why did the stoner cross the road?

A: Who else would follow a chicken

Diarrhea Jokes More Diarrhea Jokes

What did the sprinter with diarrhea do during the race?

He activated his bo... LOL

Where do tech guys with diarrhea go to work?

IBM

Seizure Salad Jokes More Seizure Salad Jokes

What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch?

A seizure salad.

What do you call an epileptic covered in lettuce?

A seizure salad.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

Why do some people like to date pessimists?

All that salt must make them thirsty.

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

What do you call a chicken staring intently at a piece of lettuce?

A chicken ceaser salad.

What do you call a lemon staring at an elderly lady?

Citric Flaccid

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

What is the similarity between women and garbagebags?

You fill them up and toss them out the door!

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

Tomato Blush Jokes More Tomato Blush Jokes

Why was the tomato blushing?

Because he saw the salad dressing.

Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of car does a pirate drive?

A Yarrrrrrrrris.

What kind of computer says "Hello"?

A Dell