Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!"

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS

What do you get when you put two different vinaigrettes in your salad?

Cross-dressing

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

You might also enjoy:

Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

Why don't snakes have legs?

Because otherwise they'd be lizards.

Why did the lizards get a divorce?

A reptile dysfunction

Honeymoon Salad Jokes More Honeymoon Salad Jokes

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

What's in a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing ...

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What ringtone have you got?

Murphy asked Paddy, "What ringtone have you got " Paddy said, "I've never really looked, but probably light brown

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue?

Because they can't dress themselves.

Why don't women like to wear dresses in the winter?

Chapped lips

Caesar Jokes More Caesar Jokes

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What did Caesar say when was in agreement?

I came. I saw. I concurred.

Afford Jokes More Afford Jokes

Why did the peasant have poor judgement?

He couldn't afford better judgement I'll be here all day folks

Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children?

With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it.

Seizure Salad Jokes More Seizure Salad Jokes

Whats an epileptics favorite food?

SEIZURE SALAD. I peed

What is an epileptics favourite food?

Seizure Salad

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do I look for in a girl?

Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.

What did one John say to the other John?

What's the matter You look flushed!"