How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

How many things do you need to change a lightbulb?

3, a person, a ladder, and another lightbulb

What would call a person who isn't worthy of being looked at?

Unseaworthy

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do you get when you burn Baltimore?

Baltiless

What's worse than 1 slice of burnt toast?

The holocaust.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?

Because she threw out all the bent ones.

When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood?

when his hand caught fire!!

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?

Depends

What does grandma's crotch smell like?

Depends

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if "Thomas the Tank Engine" was set in early-1940s Germany?

ThomasDieKleineLokomotive

What is robin going to get for Christmas?

An oviposition set

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

Why did the arsonist go to the gym?

To burn some calories.

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night