How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person that raises the dead and also had a thing for napes?

A neck-romancer

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why shouldn't you burn scented candles inside of a Buddhist shrine?

Because doing so would be incense-itive!

Why can't Charlie Sheen finish the alphabet?

Because when he gets to 'P' it burns.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why was the kitten fired from his telemarketing job?

For Catcalling

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

For throwing out all the w's.

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

What kind of underwear do old people wear?

Depends.

How many Economists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends on the supply and demand curve

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?

A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?

A panda with a set of drums.

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.