What did my wife say to me?

I want a divorce

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce?

She didn't want an ex Ray Edit: I meant debra

Why did a scientist disconnect his doorbell?

because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!! Sorry, I ll walk out

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

What's the definition of divorce?

The screwing you get for the screwing you got!

Why divorce now after all this time together?

Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.