What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

A: About fifty pounds.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.

What is the difference between a human and a potato?

Time

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

What's the difference between your job and your wife?

Nobody does your job for you when you're out

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

Why are there so many dogs at the pound?

Because no one wants them.

Why does the town pound keep animals in separate cages?

Cause otherwise they'd be going to pound town.

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement