What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

A: About fifty pounds.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge?

One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.

Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between a paycheck and a D**k?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat ?

Here Kitty kitty kitty' !

What happens when two dogs breed in a pound?

Dog pound dog pounds dog pound dog.

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

A: About fifty pounds.