What is the fastest way to lose pounds?

Leave EU.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the sarcastic taximan say when he lost his job?

Oh well that's just uber, isn't it

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

It ran out of juice. I shall take my leave now.

Eu Jokes More Eu Jokes

What do Star Wars and the United Kingdom have in common?

They both abandoned the EU

What did UK say while leaving?

It's not EU, it's me

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat ?

Here Kitty kitty kitty' !

How do dog catchers get paid?

By the Pound!

Fast Way Jokes More Fast Way Jokes

Whats the fastest way to a women's heart?

A Knife

What's the fastest way to ruin free pie?

Put the word 'gluten' at the beginning