Eu Jokes

What do Star Wars and the United Kingdom have in common?

They both abandoned the EU

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What's the difference between Hillary's e-mails and the UK leaving the EU?

Hillary got off Scott-free.

What is UK's favorite song line?

And I'll tell you all about it when I EU again"

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

Whats the difference between English Breakfast and Irish Breakfast tea?

One is still in the EU.

How much space is left in EU?

1 GB

What did UK say while leaving?

It's not EU, it's me

Why can't you have Christmas dinner in the EU?

Because there is no Turkey

What is the fastest way to lose pounds?

Leave EU.

What's the best way to lose some pounds?

Leave the EU.

What have Disney and the U.K. got in common?

Both dropped the EU And screwed over a lot of people

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What did NATO say to the EU at the World Organization baseball game?

Europe!

What did GB say to EU?

Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU?

Not being British.

How much space does the EU have left?

1GB

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Whats the least paying job?

British dentist.

What did the British proton say after 5 cups of coffee?

I feel positively charged!

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What type of computer is unusually large?

A Dell

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

Europe Jokes More Europe Jokes

Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe?

They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.

Why did Europe start the first World War?

They did't like being sans-Ferdinand.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do."

What is Black, White and Red all over?

My English Monologue Draft...

Abandon Jokes More Abandon Jokes

What did the sign say on the abandoned nuclear reactor?

Gone fission

What is it called when Batman abandons Gotham city?

Christian Bale.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

Brexit Vote Jokes More Brexit Vote Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU?

Not being British.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart?

A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!

How can you tell the difference between a thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.