How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart?

A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

They wanted to see it crack up!

What do you tell someone who doesn't like Depeche Mode?

Enjoy the silence.

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

What do you call an anorexic blonde with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese !

What do you call a girl with anorexia and a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese.

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

What's a man idea of helping with the housework?

Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

Whichever Jokes More Whichever Jokes

Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support?

Whichever can reduce inflation.

Which do you think I should take?

Whichever you'll excel in, son."