What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

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What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

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What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?

Money's tight these days!

How many quarters does it take to play the Lord of the rings pinball game?

None, it only takes Tolkiens

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

What do you call a midget with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.