Kilt Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

How did the Scot die?

He got kilt.

What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do Scots wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart?

A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?

The codpiece he made out of his girlfriend's face.

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What do you call a bunny in a kilt?

A hopscotch

What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?

Second fella says "A kilt of course!" First fella "What's the tartin " "She's wearing white" says his pal

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ?

Scott !

You might also enjoy:

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why do Scots wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink?

The elephants are using them as tampons

Hopscotch Jokes More Hopscotch Jokes

What do you call a bunny in a kilt?

A hopscotch

What led to the discovery of gravitational waves?

A simple game of hopscotch: Me v. Yo Mama

Scot Jokes More Scot Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot?

One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".

What's the difference between a German and a Scot?

The German knows when he's not speaking English.

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

How many Dornishmen does it take to shoe a horse?

Nine. One to do the shoeing, and eight to lift up the horse!

What is Long, has two balls and you lift it ?

A dumbell

Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What do you call a Scotsman who works in a cloakroom?

Angus McCoatup

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger says, "Hey you, get offa' my cloud." A Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get offa' my ewe."

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

What is the type of humor do you hate the most?

Dark humor... I hate it when black people tell jokes.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?

Cowboom!

Whichever Jokes More Whichever Jokes

Which do you think I should take?

Whichever you'll excel in, son."

How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart?

A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!