How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other.

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

How can you tell if a 14 year old smokes weed?

Just wait. They'll tell you.

Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman?

To one you say, "Hey you, get off my cloud!" The other: "Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"

What do you call a Scotsman with gas after a dodgy curry?

Bravefart

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds?

Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I'm so sorry!!!

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

What do you call a girl with anorexia and a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call an anorexic blonde with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese !

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

Clan Jokes More Clan Jokes

What do you call a clan for chickens?

Coo clucks clan

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.