How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Scotsmen don't change light bulbs it's cheaper to sit in the dark

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Change Jokes More Change Jokes

What does a vegetable use to change a flat?

Asparagus...

How many US cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they arrest the room because it's black.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Alzheimer victims does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side

How many feminist does it take to change a light bulb?

None because feminist can't change anything.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

How many Hillary supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

None. cmon , they'd much rather be kept in the dark.

How do you find and old man in the dark?

Just feel around. It's not hard.

Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman?

To one you say, "Hey you, get off my cloud!" The other: "Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"

What do you call a Scotsman who works in a cloakroom?

Angus McCoatup