How many mottophobics does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Who do you think broke the filament in the first place

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?

Remarry

What do you call someone who tells you they've successfully broken the Law of Excluded Middle?

WRONG.** ... or right, or something in between.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

How many suh dudes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None 'cause it's already lit, fam.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do I think about my toes?

They couldn't be further from my mind.

What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe?

Exoplanets Thought that one up myself.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How did the hipster burn his fingertips?

He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool. rimshot

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why does Juan walk around the school like he owns the place?

Because his dad built it and his mom cleans it

What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz.