How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What tea do hockey players drink?

Penaltea!

Where do intergalactic keyboards go to drink?

Space Bars

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "FIRETRUCK"!!! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? ..."POPCORN"!! What were you thinking?!?!?!

Whats the worst thing you can call a black man that starts with N and ends with R?

Neighbor

Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many people from Quebec does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One: He holds the bulb and the rest of Canada revolves around him.

How many white people does it take to replace a light bulb?

One to hold the bulb, and the rest to screw the whole world.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?

Lieutenant

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings."

Spin Jokes More Spin Jokes

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ?

Your spinning me a yarn here !

How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it.

How many scientists it takes to change a lightbulb?

None *et al.*

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?

None. In Russia, light bulb changes you.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV?

The Patriots

Which room will you be working out in?

Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

Where do alcoholics get their breakfast pastries?

Drunken Donuts

How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.