What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ?

Your spinning me a yarn here !

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What has one wheel, spins, but never moves?

A Ferris wheel.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

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How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world.

Why do you look so sad?

Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint

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What did the yoga teacher say to her land lord when he tried to evict her?

Nah Imma stay

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It is when the blind try to read your face

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How do I look?

I just came back from the beauty salon.... Husband - Well. Was it closed

Why do husbands die before their wives?

They want to.

Yarn Jokes More Yarn Jokes

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ?

Your spinning me a yarn here !

What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."