How do you give a quadriplegic a headache?

Ask him to hold open the elevator door

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

How do French girls hold their liquor?

By the ears

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Which is farther away- NY City or the moon?

Sister: NY City. Why do ask Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City.

What asks no question but demands an answer?

A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None, the beer should be open by the time she has brought it to you.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

Headache Jokes More Headache Jokes

What do trees take when they have a headache?

Aleve.

What did the ill kitty say to the playful puppy?

Not right meow, I have a headache."

Quadriplegic Jokes More Quadriplegic Jokes

What did the sorting hat say to the quadriplegic?

Stay here, I'll just go on ahead.

What do you call a Quadriplegic in the ocean?

Bob. *I'm so sorry*