Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

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Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because pterodactyls are extinct.

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

What's the difference between a lorry with good brakes, and a lorry with nice brakes?

A Lorry with Nice breaks doesn't stop until after a mile.

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why do they carry Marines around on Naval ships?

Because sheep would be too obvious.

What do you call a big cat disguised to blend in with a herd of sheep?

A sheopard.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What do you call a Scottish man with no arms and no legs?

a bell.

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

Zipper Jokes More Zipper Jokes

What has 142 teeths and can hold back the incredible hulk?

My zipper

What has 200 teeth and holds back Godzilla?

My zipper

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart?

A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!