Mile Jokes

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

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What is the longest word?

Smiles... It has a mile between the two 'S's

Why do Scots wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do the Irish wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour ?

A jet propelled elephant !

Why do Arabs wear thawbs?

Goats can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What do Reddit and building a mile long fence have in common?

Post...repost.....repost....repost...repost...

Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?

Because it's a FAST food!

What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?

A fuel injected pickle.

What's the longest word in the English language ?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ?

A frog with hiccups !

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

What's the longest word in English?

smiles. Because there's a mile between both S.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles" because there is a mile between each S!

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?

A blonde parade!

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Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

Nice Jokes More Nice Jokes

Why are socially-aware western tourists avoiding Nice, France for their late-summer getaways?

All that Muslim hatred can really run you down.

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

Zipper Jokes More Zipper Jokes

What has 108 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper.

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Scottish Man Jokes More Scottish Man Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

Where do you think you're going at this hour?

gun hangs head & turns around

How do you keep a Redditor busy for hours?

Click Here(http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ou62j/howdoyoukeeparedditorbusyforhours/)

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you call a car that you only drive in the fall?

An autumn-mobile.

What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah ?

A dog that chases cars - and catches them !

German Jokes More German Jokes

How do you call unexpected pregnancy in German?

Kinder Surprise

What do you call an ill-tempered German?

A sour kraut.

English Language Jokes More English Language Jokes

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the english language?

Five more years of Cameron"

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!