Mile Jokes

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

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What is the longest word?

Smiles... It has a mile between the two 'S's

Why do Scots wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do the Irish wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour ?

A jet propelled elephant !

Why do Arabs wear thawbs?

Goats can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What do Reddit and building a mile long fence have in common?

Post...repost.....repost....repost...repost...

Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?

Because it's a FAST food!

What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?

A fuel injected pickle.

What's the longest word in the English language ?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ?

A frog with hiccups !

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

What's the longest word in English?

smiles. Because there's a mile between both S.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles" because there is a mile between each S!

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?

A blonde parade!

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What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.