What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What is black and doesn't work?

Decaffeinated coffee.

What is the craziest/weirdest/most interesting/most unique/ uncommon phrase you've ever heard ?

I am working on a project, and its going to revolve around a phrase. I need it to be really out there, yet could be used in everyday life. But honestly just give me anything you got.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What car does Woody drive?

AUDI ADUI ADUI!

Why are you driving without a license?

Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

Why do Scots wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

What is it called when a ninja flees the scene of an accident?

Hidden Run.

Brake Jokes More Brake Jokes

Why are Muslims so good at driving at night?

Because that's when they brake fast.

How did the lawyer chip his tooth?

The ambulance slammed on its brakes.

Rush Jokes More Rush Jokes

Why do russians rush B?

To break the rush-A stereotypes

How do the Russians invade the Ukraine?

They rush in.

Intersection Jokes More Intersection Jokes

What do you call an intersection where a lot of Asians cross?

A cross-wok.

How is crossing an intersection like going to jail?

If you're a white man, you're free to walk.