Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss Harambe.

Who's there ! Bullet ! Bullet who ?

Bullet all the hay and now he's hungry !

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did the baker say when he saw the beautiful woman?

I think I'm in loaf." Ba dum, tss.

What's the difference between an American and a Briton?

Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did sumo wrestlers start shaving their legs?

To stop getting confused as feminists

What does a bully say to someone with severe depression?

Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

When you go to a regular movie, a friend asks you "so how good was the movie?

When you go to an M.night Shamylan movie a friend asks " So how bad was the plot twist "

Why did the trout go to med school?

Mounting pressure from his friends and family

12 Jokes More 12 Jokes

What's 12" long, rock hard in the morning, and makes a woman cry?

A dead baby.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche?

I've never been inside a Porsche. Nor do I have 12 Porsches in my garage.

M Jokes More M Jokes

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar im so sorry

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor?

Beef on WIC

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?

She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

How did the florist act after getting her dream job?

Got so excited she wet her plants.

Dodge Jokes More Dodge Jokes

What's faster than a black man dodging cops with a TV?

His brother with the laptop.

How did Timmy dodge the oncoming car?

He didn't

W Jokes More W Jokes

How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

U and I.

Why did the blonde girl get fired from the M&ampM factory?

She kept throwing away all the W's.

Prettiest Jokes More Prettiest Jokes

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?

What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "