Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

Why didn't the bullet have a job?

It got fired.

Who's there ! Bullet ! Bullet who ?

Bullet all the hay and now he's hungry !

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What is your guys' opinion on shoes that are a little bit too small?

Honestly, I think they're pretty tight!

Why was most of Jesus' walk downtown very awkward?

Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her?

Stop using Chex as a weapon!

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

What are short men called?

Friends.

12 Jokes More 12 Jokes

Why did the Seahawks win the 2015 NFC Championship game against the Packers?

Because even Aaron Rodgers is a 12!

How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb?

1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was

M Jokes More M Jokes

Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game?

Cuz you know something's about to go down. Im sorry

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

How crazy is your ex?

Crazy like my triceps " "How sick is your mother Sick like my triceps "

What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?

A spanking

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

Why did the dog's friends send her home from the bar when she started to act strange?

They thought she might have been slipped a woofie.

Which burgers love to act?

Ham-burgers!

Dodge Jokes More Dodge Jokes

What's Piccolo's preferred type of car?

DODGE!!!

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.

W Jokes More W Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Why was the blonde fired from the M&ampM factory?

She threw out all the W's.

Prettiest Jokes More Prettiest Jokes

Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?

What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.