Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.
and in the background someone replied "You ain't got enough bullets."
Two more bullets.
Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.
That sounded a lot better in my head
He cut all his fingers off !
Invite two of them.
Pawpular!
Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan
Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child
A fungi to hang out with
Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Because my life is a joke. Dont worry Im not scuicidal
Look, Ma! No hands!
Two mothers-in-law.
An act of violins.
Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.
They spent the first nine months of their lives dodging hangers.
He didn't
Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.
A. She kept throwing out all the W's.
What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "
