Dodge Jokes

What's faster than a black man dodging cops with a TV?

His brother with the laptop.

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What's Piccolo's preferred type of car?

DODGE!!!

What's the difference between Michael Brown and Darren Wilson?

Only one of them knows how to dodge a bullet.

What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown?

Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.

How did Timmy dodge the oncoming car?

He didn't

Why did the beer get bottled?

He was trying to dodge the draft.

Why do blacks make good athletes?

They spent the first nine months of their lives dodging hangers.

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why are chemists such whores?

They keep talking about their nitrates

What is Christopher Reeves' favorite band?

The Talking Heads

Draft Jokes More Draft Jokes

How do you write an essay that blows people away?

With lots of drafts

Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army?

To avoid the draft!

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

Why couldn't the 3 speed mixer get auto insurance?

He was high whisk.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why didn't the neuron cross the road ?

It was Nervous

How did the dead baby get across the road?

Me: How Her: It was stapled to the chicken. Me: .....

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road?

A rackless driver...

Paw Jokes More Paw Jokes

How are dogs and addicts similar?

They both have PAWS

Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?

To see who shot his "paw."

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What costs you more the less you spend on it?

A divorce lawyer.

Why won't a black man go see a 3d movie?

He'd rather spend his money on a forty

Laptop Jokes More Laptop Jokes

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer

What do you call a singing Laptop?

A Dell