Dodge Jokes

What's faster than a black man dodging cops with a TV?

His brother with the laptop.

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What's Piccolo's preferred type of car?

DODGE!!!

What's the difference between Michael Brown and Darren Wilson?

Only one of them knows how to dodge a bullet.

What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown?

Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.

How did Timmy dodge the oncoming car?

He didn't

Why did the beer get bottled?

He was trying to dodge the draft.

Why do blacks make good athletes?

They spent the first nine months of their lives dodging hangers.

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs "

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

Prettiest Jokes More Prettiest Jokes

Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?

What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?

A: Because Donald ducked.

How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

Shoot before he hits the water.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why do stoners spend so much money?

because they're high rollers

Why do black people spend so much on their shoes?

You would to if you had such a long walk home.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio?

The nearest ISOBAR!!

What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral?

Don't stop, bereaving!

M Jokes More M Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

Whats the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS?

How would I know, Im just a US Air Force Operator.

Hanger Jokes More Hanger Jokes

What does getting pregnant and locking your car keys in your car have in common?

They can both be fixed with a coat hanger.

Why do blacks make good athletes?

They spent the first nine months of their lives dodging hangers.

Vehicle Jokes More Vehicle Jokes

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

What's Mitt Romney's favorite make of vehicle?

A Mack truck, because it already has a little dog on top.