Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?

What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What'd the Mexican say when he was upset?

I don't want to taco bout it.

Why Republicans cannot swim as freely as they want?

Dems!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How many calls do I get?

cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

When someone asks "You know what I think?

I say "Yes I do". End of discussion.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What's the deal with the Z Fighters?

They aren't fighting to stay awake!

Why are MMA fighters told not to blow their nose when in a fight?

Oops, this was supposed to be for . There's no punch line!

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why do all Asian kids get straight A's?

Because the ones that don't are never heard from again. I'll be here all day folks.

What do my dad and God have in common?

I've never seen or heard from either of them.

Prettiest Jokes More Prettiest Jokes

Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?

What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.