Why is today John Philip Sousa Day?

Because he told everyone to march fourth.

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What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead?

A. The remote control slips from his hand.

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Which US president is most responsible for unemployment in the US today?

Abraham Lincoln.

How old were you on your last birthday?

Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday Ten. Oh I don't think that's possible. Oh yes it is - I'm nine today.

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Why are the streets in Paris lined with trees?

So the German soldiers can march in shade.

Why are there so many avenues in Belgium?

Because German soldiers like to march in the shadow.

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Why is today John Philip Sousa Day?

Because he told everyone to march fourth.

What day do soldiers hate the most?

March Fourth