What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What do you call someone who lets people rent wifi signals from them?

The lanlord!

How has society let things go so far down hill that it still takes two minutes to make popcorn?

China probably can pop corn in one minute.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How do you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool.

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How many sad soccer fans are there today?

A Brazillion...

Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

he was undercover *!*

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

Why can't Ewoks yell and scream in the house?

They have to use their Endor voices.

What did the cannibal coach yell when his player twisted his ankle?

Wok it off! Wok it off!

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one coffin say to the other?

Is that you coughin'

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

What is Ronald Reagan's favourite vegetable?

James Brady.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

What did the can say to the can opener?

A: You make me flip my lid.