What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease?

Let's name our sandwich shop after it

How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How do you find where a flea has bitten you ?

Start from scratch !

Where have you been?

he asked. "To my mother-in-law's burial." "Then why the scratches on your face " "She kept resisting, that old fart."

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What do WNBA players make?

Sandwiches. Friend told me this today and had to share

What came in the mail today?

Anthrax.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What does a barber yell when he plays hide-and-go-seek?

Ready or not, hair I comb!

How can you tell two people are married?

Both are yelling at the same kid.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now?

Scratchin' the inside of his coffin.

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What is Ronald Reagan's favourite vegetable?

James Brady.

Why Do Republican Couples Keep A Copy Of Ronald Reagan's Biography Next To Their Bed?

So that it can be used as an

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.