What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again

What do you call a physicist who makes lets play videos?

Quarkiplier

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why can't DJs play pool?

A: They always scratch.

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?

A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What do you call an uncertain insect today?

A May bee.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today :)

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

What's the difference between Wright and Rong?

Wright yells, "Objection!' Rong is your typical Chinese man.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?

A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What did Ronald Reagan say in his presidential campaign?

Electron. Also, what did the Greek warrior say when he saw the wooden horse Hydrogen please spare me

What's Ronald Reagan's favorite vegetable?

James Brady

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What did the can say to the can opener?

A: You make me flip my lid.

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.