What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the flat iron say to the follicle?

Now let me get this straight . . .

What did the predators say before they went hunting?

Let us prey first.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How did the flea learn to use the internet?

He had to start from scratch.

What's the most useful material?

Scratch. You can make anything from scratch.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

Why did the sperm cross the road..?

I accidentally put on the wrong sock today....

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one coffin say to the other?

Is that you coughin'

Who's there ! Coffin ! Coffin who ?

Coffin and spluttering !

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What's Ronald Reagan's favorite vegetable?

James Brady

Why doesn't Ronald Reagan drink orange juice?

Because he's dead.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ?

Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !