What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How do you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool.

What's the most useful material?

Scratch. You can make anything from scratch.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask "where am I?

and whatever they say I runaway screaming "Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"

What's the difference between a kid and a drawer?

A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one coffin say to the other?

Is that you coughin'

What is brown all around and looks good on a motorcyclist?

A coffin.

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

Where does George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleavies!

Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon?

Because he was dead!