Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

How do you leave a bunch of idiots in suspense?

I'll tell you guys tomorrow

Climb Jokes More Climb Jokes

What's blue and white and can't climb trees?

A fridge with a denim jacket on

What do you call a witch who climbs up walls?

Ivy.

Drag Jokes More Drag Jokes

What're you in for?

I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it." "We've all been there, brother."

Why did a man name his legless dog, Cigarette?

Cause he had to take him out for a drag every night.

Basket Jokes More Basket Jokes

Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket?

Because he was in de-nile

How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?

One. After that the basket won't be empty.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"