Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

She heard that the drinks were on the house.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

What did the depressed philosopher say?

I drink because I am.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why has the ex-NSA contractor not left his house?

He's snowed in.

Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What do my dad and God have in common?

I've never seen or heard from either of them.

How can you tell there is a Canadian in your closet?

You can hear someone scooting aboot in it

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

A termite walks into a bar and says...

'Where is the bar tended?'

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

It depends on how thinly you slice them.

Climb Jokes More Climb Jokes

How many corporate drones does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That's impossible, because they can't climb the ladder.

Why did the mountain climber quit halfway through his climb?

He really wasn't feeling up to it.