Climb Jokes

How many bronze players do you need to change a lightbulb?

None. They can't climb the ladder.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

Why did they give a megaphone to the dog who couldn't climb a tree?

Because he couldn't bark

How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof?

Tell him drinks are on the house.

How many muslims does it take to climb a building?

daesh many.

What's the difference between Whitney Houston and a black widow?

Nothing. Neither can climb out of a bathtub.

How many corporate drones does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That's impossible, because they can't climb the ladder.

Why did the blonde climb the chain-link fence?

To see what was on the other side.

How does an elephant climb a tree?

A: He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.

When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing... ?

A fence.

Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?

He couldn't fit in the elevator.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator.

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings?

The elevator men are on strike!

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things?

A mountain gloat.

Why did the cop climb the tree?

He worked for a special branch.

What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn?

A: Get off.

Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.

What's white and can't climb trees?

A Refrigerator

What's Chinese and climbs the Empire State Building?

Ping Pong

Why does a dinosaur climb a tree?

To get in his nest.

Why do dinosaurs climb trees?

There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.

Why can't rock climbing instructors get dates?

Because they rappel men and women.

What's blue and white and can't climb trees?

A fridge with a denim jacket on

Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence?

To see what was on the other side.

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ?

Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !

What did Mario say to Yoshi when he started climbing the Cherry tree?

X-post r/landscaping) Yoshino!!!

How does a elephant hide in the jungle?

2.What is the Loudest sound in the jungle 1.Paints its balls red and climbs up a apple tree. 2.Tarzan picking apples.

How do you climb a triangle?

By scalene it

How to climb a flight of stairs?

Step one Step two Step three

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

What's white and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator. Sorry.

Whats white and cant climb trees?

A fridge --

What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress?

Queen Kong.

What did the stupid ghost do?

He used to climb over walls.

What do you call a witch who climbs up walls?

Ivy.

What do a squirrel and a piano have in common ?

Both can climb trees, except the piano

Why did the mountain climber quit halfway through his climb?

He really wasn't feeling up to it.

Why did Batman climb the tree?

He was looking for Robin's nest.

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Bark Jokes More Bark Jokes

Which do you let in first?

Your dog, because it'll stop barking once you let it in.

What do you call a Wolfman who barks at a half moon?

UnawareWolf

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

What do you call an Egyptian doctor who works on peoples backs?

A Cairopractor!

What's up?

Not Egyptian Air

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between LSD and my dad?

LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know if someone owns an Apple Watch?

Don't worry, they will tell you.

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do horses drink at the bar?

Chardon-neigh

What kind of water do you drink when the snow melts?

Spring water.

Whitney Houston Jokes More Whitney Houston Jokes

Why can't Whitney Houston be a pharmacist?

She over doses

What is Whitney Houston's favorite coordination?

HAND-EYYYYEEEEE-EEEE-IIIII!!!

Ladder Jokes More Ladder Jokes

How many Survivors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One to start screwing it in and the rest to vote 'em off the ladder.

What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas ?

A ladder in her stocking !

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

What's the difference between a Muslim woman and an American one?

An American woman gets stoned *before* she commits adultery.

What do you yell at a Muslim striptease?

Show me your nose!"