How'd you get the scratches?

flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.

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Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How do you cause a riot at a cat show?

Open a can

What do you call a cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock?

A: Catsup!

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ?

You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours !"

What do you say to Harry Potter when he has a mosquito bite he can't stop scratching?

Quidditching

Flash Jokes More Flash Jokes

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

What goes VROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECH?

A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Bathe Jokes More Bathe Jokes

How'd you get the scratches?

flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.

How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.