What do you say to Harry Potter when he has a mosquito bite he can't stop scratching?

Quidditching

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What did the cannibal say to his co-worker?

You should stop by later. The missus and I are having people for dinner.

What do potheads do when they see a fire?

Stop, drop, and roll

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight?

A: Claude

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What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?

Because his parents are vegetables.