What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What times does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

What can I get you today?

Harambe: May I get a martini Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice Me: Justice for Harambe.

M Jokes More M Jokes

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

Why did the railroad thief get caught?

He forgot to cover his tracks! im

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Why can't you take a shower with a pokemon?

Cause they'll Pikachu

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

Itune Jokes More Itune Jokes

What's the Pope iTunes play-list name?

Pray-list.

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

W Jokes More W Jokes

What's this payment?

Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly M: No, it's just for the one skydive

Why did the blonde girl get fired from the M&M factory?

She kept throwing away all the W's.