What's 12" long, rock hard in the morning, and makes a woman cry?

A dead baby.

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's common between a crying baby and a gun?

You must not bring either to the movies.

What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?

A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How many cats does it take for a woman to qualify as a "crazy cat lady?

None. Just a couple of youtube cat videos.

Why do women have legs?

Have you seen the mess snails make?

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Who's there ! Ben ! Ben who ?

Ben knocking on this door all morning !

When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

12 Jokes More 12 Jokes

What have 12 legs six eyes three tails and can't see ?

Three blind mice !

What do you call a mushroom with a 12 in stem?

A fungi to hang out with

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What's worse than one dead baby nailed to ten trees?

One live baby nailed to ten trees.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a bunch of dead babies?

I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.