How are asymptotes like women?

You can get close to it, but you can't touch it

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What is it called when a woman can't imagine having kids?

Inconceivable.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What do characters at Disney World and strippers have in common?

No touching!

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.