Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

He touched the beaker before it was cool.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

What did God say when he made the first black person?

Damn, I burnt one...

Beaker Jokes More Beaker Jokes

What did the douchebag say to the chemist when he dropped his beaker?

U mad scientist?

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What's the scariest thing a blind person can read in Braille?

Danger: Do not touch"

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.