Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

He touched the beaker before it was cool.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What burns longer, a red or a green candle?

Neither, they both burn shorter.

What did the farmer say when he heard the town gossiping about his cornfield fire?

My ears are burning!"

Beaker Jokes More Beaker Jokes

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

What did the douchebag say to the chemist when he dropped his beaker?

U mad scientist?

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What's up Dad Party!" *dads go nuts* "I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?

dads in unison DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT

How do you know it's midnight at the Neverland Ranch?

The big hand's touching the little hand.