Beaker Jokes

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

He touched the beaker before it was cool.

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Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab?

They were graduated

What did the douchebag say to the chemist when he dropped his beaker?

U mad scientist?

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

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Douchebag Jokes More Douchebag Jokes

What did the douchebag say to the chemist when he dropped his beaker?

U mad scientist?

What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.

Graduate Jokes More Graduate Jokes

What do you call a muslim who graduated?

Allah-mni!

What do you call a Native American who graduated from medical school?

A doctor you racist

Center Jokes More Center Jokes

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

I don't know. It kept breaking my guitar strings so I gave up.

What's the best way to pack a dead person in a cardboard box?

Body centered cubic

Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear?

Because he was Russian.

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween?

Happy halloweenie

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say "its extra is that ok?

if u say its not ok they give it to u for free

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What did David say when the tourist tried to touch him?

Don't touch my marbles.

What's up Dad Party!" *dads go nuts* "I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?

dads in unison DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What did the orphan say when the orphanage burned down?

Nothing. He just laughed.

What do you get when you burn Baltimore?

Baltiless