Center Jokes

Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do donuts have holes in the center?

Because the inventor of the donut wanted to give us a whole experience.

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

What if they had a call center where they call you everyday with a mission to make you laugh?

But instead of a call center, they called it a lol center! So much lol, that it will make you fall!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

I don't know. It kept breaking my guitar strings so I gave up.

Who plays center forward for the vampire football team?

The ghoulscorer.

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Just one. From Chuck Norris.

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

How many Poaz does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

None she is the joke

Why did the feminist sign up for football?

She wanted to be the center of attention.

What's the best way to pack a dead person in a cardboard box?

Body centered cubic

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did off-center say to tilted?

I don't know either he told me to askew!"

What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

When someone says something was made with "love" what exactly does that mean?

Did they jerk one off into the center of my cupcake

What do you call a hump-backed cow that always wants to be the center of attention?

A drama-dairy.

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy &amp z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

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Alligator Jokes More Alligator Jokes

What do you get if you cross an alligator with Sherlock Holmes ?

An Investigator.

What do you get when you cross a child and an alligator?

An alligator.

Inventor Jokes More Inventor Jokes

How did the inventor of the car advertise his new "horse-less carriage"?

He said it goes without a hitch!

What if we just throw some pretty-colored marshmallows in with some cat food?

inventor of Lucky Charms

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call the kid of an Iceland and Cuban parents?

Ice cubes.

Why do sandwiches never have kids?

Because they always turn out in-bread.

Walmart Jokes More Walmart Jokes

Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?

Because they're the largest re-tail-er

What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail?

Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What's the best part of two lesbians marrying?

Two cooks in the house.

What is the best part of Pokemon Go?

I can ride my bike indoors and professor oak can't do anything to stop me.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why do terrorist use Nokia phones?

so they can reuse the phone after the explosion

Why did the clock phone the ruler?

Because desperate times call for desperate measures....

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

What will the ISIS be called when we eventually destroy them?

WASWAS.

What did the bartender say to the horse?

bartender: Why the long face Horse: My alcoholism is destroying my family.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

What should you do before cooking the vegetables?

Remove the wheelchair

What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book?

He removed the appendix!