Center Jokes

Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do donuts have holes in the center?

Because the inventor of the donut wanted to give us a whole experience.

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

What if they had a call center where they call you everyday with a mission to make you laugh?

But instead of a call center, they called it a lol center! So much lol, that it will make you fall!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

I don't know. It kept breaking my guitar strings so I gave up.

Who plays center forward for the vampire football team?

The ghoulscorer.

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Just one. From Chuck Norris.

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

How many Poaz does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

None she is the joke

Why did the feminist sign up for football?

She wanted to be the center of attention.

What's the best way to pack a dead person in a cardboard box?

Body centered cubic

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What did off-center say to tilted?

I don't know either he told me to askew!"

What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

When someone says something was made with "love" what exactly does that mean?

Did they jerk one off into the center of my cupcake

What do you call a hump-backed cow that always wants to be the center of attention?

A drama-dairy.

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy &amp z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

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Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

What do the cops do when they get a fly infestation?

Call in the swat team!

What did the cop say to Boris Yosanavich after pulling him over for speeding?

Quit Russian.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does a white man never want to call a black man that starts with "N" and ends with "R"?

Neighbor" thanks bugz

Why don't seagulls fly in the bay?

Because they don't want to be bagels.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom?

He farts.

What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book?

He removed the appendix!

Deliver Jokes More Deliver Jokes

What is the most essential part of any joke?

The way that the punchline of the joke is delivered.

Why is a reflection always twice as good as the real thing?

i actually don't know where to post this idea, true jokes maybe?... There has to be a food for thought sub. This is your OP, I promise to deliver!

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him?

Ayyyy watch it homes!

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was drunk Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

Optimist Jokes More Optimist Jokes

What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

When are you going to learn to drive?

I don't think they feel very safe in my taxi.

Why are millionaires bad at swimming?

Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :( I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Why do objects disappear when you move them twice?

Because you remove them.