Graduate Jokes

What do you call a Med School student who graduates with all C's?

A Doctor.

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Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab?

They were graduated

What do you call the worst Dr. who graduated from the worst med school?

Dr.

What do math majors get when they graduate?

A radian. Math majors don't use degrees.

What do you call a muslim who graduated?

Allah-mni!

How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard?

They'll tell you.

What does the Philosophy major say a year after he graduates?

Would you like fries with that "

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

Where did you receive your education?

Me: Yale Interviewer: Wow! When did you graduate Me: I yust got out in Yuly

What do you call someone who barely graduated from med school?

Doctor.

What do you call a Native American who graduated from medical school?

A doctor you racist

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What did Ferris Bueller do after he graduated high school?

He went to Europe to study a-Broderick

What do you say to a vampire when he graduates from college?

Coagulations!

What do you call graduates from secret society school?

Alumniati

Who is a Graduate student's least favorite Greek Hero?

Thesus

What do you call a Native American who graduated from med school?

A doctor, you racist!

What do you want to be when you graduate high school?

No more than 25" from Gary Muledeer

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Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

He touched the beaker before it was cool.

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What's the difference between a black man and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family of 4.

Why did the family not laugh at the Obstetrician's joke?

Because he screwed up the delivery...

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb?

A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.

How Many Muslim Women Does it Take to Screw In a Light Bulb?

Silly, Muslim Women aren't allowed to screw in light bulbs.

Math Major Jokes More Math Major Jokes

What did the math major say to himself when he discovered that he was no longer a sapling?

Gee, I'm a tree.

What do math majors get when they graduate?

A radian. Math majors don't use degrees.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver?

It's hard to keep track.

Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year?

They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom.

Radian Jokes More Radian Jokes

What did the tsundere degree say to the radian?

Notice me 10"

Why don't mathematicians have degrees?

They prefer radians.

Harvard Graduate Jokes More Harvard Graduate Jokes

How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him

Harvard Jokes More Harvard Jokes

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

How do you know someone went to Harvard?

They tell you.