Porch Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

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What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

What is Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch?

Paddy O' furniture

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

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What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch Matt.

Who's there ! Answer ! Answer who ?

Answer all over your porch ! It's a mess out here !

What do you call an Irishman who sits on the porch all year round?

Patty O'Furnature

What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch?

Paddy O'Furniture

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch?

Paddy O'Furniture!

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Irish Guy Jokes More Irish Guy Jokes

What do you call the Irish guy who always brings flan to the potluck?

Shaun O'flanagan

How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life?

A: Third grade.

What was Philip Seymour Hoffman's favorite album this year?

Pure Heroine by Lorde.

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

How do you call a person that speaks only one language?

An American

What language do birds speak ?

Pigeon English !

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the Easter Bunny's favorite song?

Don't you want some bunny to love"

Why didn't the rabbit want to mate outside?

Because it was Frigid

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?

Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

What do cops and sports photographers have in common?

They get paid to shoot black men.

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

Why don't Baptist preachers color their hair?

They just pray the gray away

What technique does a prisoner use when coloring a picture?

Cell shading.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ?

Dad dad look what marma-laid' !

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

Pool Player Jokes More Pool Player Jokes

What country has the highest concentration of pool players?

Irack.

How do you get a pool player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.