Porch Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

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What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

What is Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch?

Paddy O' furniture

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

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What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch Matt.

Who's there ! Answer ! Answer who ?

Answer all over your porch ! It's a mess out here !

What do you call an Irishman who sits on the porch all year round?

Patty O'Furnature

What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch?

Paddy O'Furniture

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch?

Paddy O'Furniture!

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Dead Body Jokes More Dead Body Jokes

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

How do you find a dead body?

Download Pokemon GO.

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Where does the catcher sit for dinner?

A: Behind the plate.

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What do you call and Irish person who stays outside all night?

Paddy O'Furniture

What's white and Irish and sits in your backyard all year?

Paddy O'Furniture

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What is the difference?

What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail

What did the guy on LSD say while driving on the highway?

Woah, the traffic is moving.

Musician Jokes More Musician Jokes

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

What do you call a musician who breaks up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why do most men hate Russian dolls?

Because they're so full of themselves.

What is the longest sentence that a man can make?

I do.

Irishman Jokes More Irishman Jokes

What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life?

A: Third grade.

How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day?

One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab.