Porch Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

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What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

What is Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch?

Paddy O' furniture

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

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What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch Matt.

Who's there ! Answer ! Answer who ?

Answer all over your porch ! It's a mess out here !

What do you call an Irishman who sits on the porch all year round?

Patty O'Furnature

What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch?

Paddy O'Furniture

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch?

Paddy O'Furniture!

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Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

How do you start a conversation about men's rights?

Mention feminism.

Matt Jokes More Matt Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at your front door?

Matt

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door?

Matt.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Guitar Player Jokes More Guitar Player Jokes

Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player?

He kept trying to tune her G string.

How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

Irish Guy Jokes More Irish Guy Jokes

What do you call a couple of Irish guys hiking in the woods?

Trail micks.

Where did the Irish guy get cancer?

In his prostatoe.

Irish Man Jokes More Irish Man Jokes

How many irish men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, One to hold the light and, one to drink until the room starts spinning!

What did the Irish man and the mongol woman name their child?

Lepre Kahn

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

What do you call a group of white people sitting on the bench?

A basketball team.

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.