Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's the difference between Joe Paterno and Harambe?

Harambe tried to save the kids.

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How did the stem cell break it to his girl?

It's not you it's me*iosis* Could probably do with some work on deliver as I made it 5 minutes ago

How many emojis will she use?

Show your work.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ?

Santa Jaws !

What did Jamal get for Christmas?

Your Bike

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

Why are YOU afraid?

Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW

Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

A: Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What's the difference between a porcupine and two lawyers in a Porsche?

A. With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.

What did one lawyer say to the other?

we are both lawyers."

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

How do skeletons kiss?

They don't. Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.

What's an Australian Kiss?

A French kiss down under ;) *first post here, a coworker of mine told me the joke. Go easy :)*

Secretary Jokes More Secretary Jokes

Why did the termite got divorced?

Because she ate the secretary.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.