Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

What do you do when an angry pack of clowns confronts you and tries to fight?

Go straight for the juggler.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do black people and dividing by zero have in common?

They don't work.

Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa?

Because it can't be taken on empty stomach

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What am I not taking on Christmas this year?

Noels

Why is it so cold at Christmas?

It's in Decembrrrrr.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month?

What an Idiot.

What is Mr. T's favorite month?

April, fools

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why does New York have all the lawyers while New Jersey got all the garbage dumps?

New Jersey got to pick first

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

Why is horse racing so romantic?

Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!

Secretary Jokes More Secretary Jokes

Why did the termite got divorced?

Because she ate the secretary.

Why was the Doctor screaming angrily at his secretary?

He ran out of patients.

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.