Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play?

GET OFF MY LAN!

Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ?

She was trying to get ahead !

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do laxatives always say 'Works gently, overnight'?

What if I want something that works violently right now "

Why couldn't the accountant keep his car in working order?

Because it broke down and he couldn't budget.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

What will Tesla build this christmas to help santa deliver presents?

An elf driving car

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

Which is the month in which women talk the least?

February... because it has the least number of days

Why do blacks make good athletes?

They spent the first nine months of their lives dodging hangers.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a teenage boy?

One is a master debater. The other is a masterbater.

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What is it called when two birds kiss?

A Peck.

How do you kiss a girl on valentines day?

You use tulips.

Secretary Jokes More Secretary Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?

He was already taking out a tooth

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.