Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

Why were the Chinese trying to light a bbq grill out in the rain?

Because it was raining cats and dogs. :D

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

Who says building a border wall wont work?

The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still dont have any Mexicans.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the banker get for Christmas?

My 401k

Why can't you have Christmas dinner in the EU?

Because there is no Turkey

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

Why do blacks make good athletes?

They spent the first nine months of their lives dodging hangers.

What is the Rebel Alliance' least favorite month?

The Imperial March.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside.

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What's worse than a whale with a sore tooth?

When you go to kiss your grandma goodbye and she slips you the tongue.

Why did the capacitor kiss the diode?

He just couldn't resistor.......

Secretary Jokes More Secretary Jokes

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?

He was already taking out a tooth

Why was the Doctor screaming angrily at his secretary?

He ran out of patients.

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.