Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?

He wanted someone who understood and case.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

How could that have happened ?

I can't understand it either because I planted cabbage !

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why do Steven Avery's victims see him naked from the waist down?

Because his lawyers keep filing away his briefs.

What clothes do lawyers wear to work?

Lawsuits.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What is the most awesomely amazing word in the English language?

Anticlimactic

Why is the word "smiles" the longest word in English?

Because there is a mile separating the two s'es.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why did the TSA hire a dentist?

to help with the cavity searches

Why did the blond get fired from the boomerang factory?

She threw away all the bent ones. Why did she get re-hired They all came back.

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.