English Teacher Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one :3

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What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?

He wanted someone who understood and case.

Where did the English teacher and the student fight?

in the MLA boxing ring

Who, what, when, where and why?

English teachers and Alzheimer's patients

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

Why don't English teachers like parole?

They prefer complete sentences.

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?

A: You have to hollow out the head.

What has a head, a tail, and no body?

A coin!

Borrow Jokes More Borrow Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one :3

What's the one movie Rick won't ever let you borrow?

He won't ever give you *Up*. No I'll show myself out . . .

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's grey and never needs ironing ?

A drip dry elephant !

What are your best family friendly Christmas jokes?

I need some for tonight.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do prison guards use Proactive all the time?

So they can prevent breakouts.

Why did the computer get a virus?

He wasn't using protection.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How did Kim Kardashian get her hands on Liberace's bath robe?

GrammysRedCarpet

Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other XD

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it'd be a foot!

Why are pirates funny?

Because they Arrrr (Yes I know its cheesier than my feet)

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We're both lawyers.

What professional hates going to the bar?

A lawyer

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do."

What's the worlds longest sentence?

I do.