How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

What do you get if you cross a salmon a bird's leg and a hand ?

Birdsthigh fish fingers !

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did one Muslim say to another in a supermarket?

Nothing very interesting, they are both completely ordinary members of society who should not be judged based on their ethnic background and skin colour... ...And then the building exploded.

How do you call a judge that only gives innocent veredicts because he gave up on law school and knows nothing?

a quitter.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What language do birds speak ?

Pigeon English !

How do you convert Spanish programming into English?

Yes++

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

Who, what, when, where and why?

English teachers and Alzheimer's patients

Why don't English teachers like parole?

They prefer complete sentences.

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.