When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

Divorced.

What do you call a man who has lost the lower parts of his legs, but still somehow has his feet?

Tony.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get when your cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Ell if I know!

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake.

What do I get when I pour my Root Beer into a square mug?

Just Beer. If you don't get it, think mathematically.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

How do you mute an Italian?

Tie up their hands.

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why did everyone trust the marsupial?

Everything he said was troo

Why are atoms untrustworthy?

They make up everything. Credit to from an askreddit thread about what not to trust.

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

Why did Simba have trouble returning to Pride Rock?

He ran into trafiki.

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

Humanity Jokes More Humanity Jokes

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a monkey?

AIDS for humanity

What did adam say to eve?

Let's save humanity.

Faith Jokes More Faith Jokes

What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common?

They've both put their faith in the cloud.

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing."

Chili Jokes More Chili Jokes

Why did the momma pepper tuck in her baby?

Because he was a little chili (Actually came up with this while making chili)

What do you ask a Mexican girl you like?

Netflix and chili