Why did the programmer's girlfriend move back home so quickly?

She returned because all he ever did was split her in the middle for log(n) time.

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Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What do Winnie the Pooh and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

The same middle name. (Shamelessly stolen from Cortana.)

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

Split Jokes More Split Jokes

Why should you never date an atom?

The split is gonna be explosive

Why can't guys do the splits?

The banana gets in the way. Banana split

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

How is Jesus different from other carpenters?

Unlike other carpenters, Jesus may actually return one day

What do you get Devin Hester for Christmas??

A: Nothing - he'll just return it!